So, Quidditch part II, which really did not need to be in a separate update since it only covers six matches, most of which are too boring to comment on. No, the 1998 entry doesn’t mention that OH HEY VOLDEMORT WAS DEFEATED A MONTH AGO GUYS, so apparently she did forget. That entry will be commented on in a minute though since what is mentioned is pretty bad. Krum resigned in tears in 2002 after Bulgaria lost the final again, which just amuses me because of how blatantly OOC it is, but it’s all right because he’s coming back again for the 2014 tournament.
1998 final, Senegal vs Malawi. “Only the second ever all-African final.” Why this matters, who knows. Tight security because of the riots at the 1994 final, never mind the fact that the reason for those riots no longer exists, JK is a moron.
Senegal almost refused to play when their team mascots (Yumboes) were arrested outside the stadium. Yumboes are a kind of African house-elf and they took their arrest in reasonably good part, merely stealing every bit of food within a ten-mile radius in revenge and vanishing into the night.
Let me just review this. The African sentient-but-stupid slave race known by a stupid-sounding name were all arrested on sight, apparently for absolutely no reason. But it’s okay because they then showed they really were criminals by stealing everything and running away in a cowardly fashion, thus proving it was totally acceptable to arrest them for nothing.
How can you possibly think this is a good idea.
How can neither you nor your Pottermore team realise what you’ve just written.
Ugh, Pottermore. I really have no idea what to say at this point either. Just what. So Krum was dragged OOC kicking and screaming for the sake of pure drama because Rowling can’t give less of a shit about her characters, and racism because that’s what Africa’s all about. Joy. (Though I will be a bit embarrassed if it turns out Yumboes are an actual thing from an African mythology; I highly doubt it, but you never know. I’m not sure which way would be worse though, because associating them with house-elves is awful if they’re an actual thing :P).
I did a bit of digging on Yumboes and they are real African mythology creatures, so I apologise for the ‘stupid-sounding name’ comment, but as usual JK got them totally fucked up – they’re not servants in the least, they were a kind of faerie nobility who sound similar to the sidhe, they threw feasts and dances on moonlit nights where they were served by other mythological creatures and sometimes they’d invite mortals to eat with them. The only thing they steal is corn, everything else they produce themselves.
That was it for the History of the Quidditch World Cup, anyway. Turns out the reason for it was that JK’s actually writing coverage of the nonexistent current Quidditch World Cup in the form of Daily Prophet articles. Written by Ginny for some reason. I don’t even know. Anyway, nothing interesting – the opening ceremony involved dangerous mascots getting loose and injuring a lot of people, it’s hard to tell if this is meant to be funny but it probably is and certainly there haven’t been any prosecutions or attempts to cancel it. The first match report is even less interesting, I’ll spare you. 😛
Interesting. That Pottermore content all sounds just dull to me, honestly – Rowling’s attempts at humour, and lots of meaningless Quidditch blather because for some reason people seem to care about it? Count me out, thanks. 😛 (The Daily Prophet, really? I thought Rowling hated it :P)
[Note: despite Mitchell’s less than enthusiastic response here, I did not in fact count him out, and there will be more detailed posts about the rest of the Quidditch World Cup over the next few weeks.]