Starts at chapter 12, start of term feast. Nothing new yet, though we note that of the entries on the Four Founders, three of them follow the same template – X was the founder of X house after whom it is named, and together with three others X helped to found Hogwarts, etc etc – whereas Salazar’s entry just says Slytherin house was named after him. Good to see the racism hasn’t diminished.
We move on to the ferret scene, otherwise known as haha isn’t child abuse funny, or tell us again how it’s Snape who’s the evil teacher. Nothing new there either, though you can make the ferret panic and run around if you hover over it.
On to Moody teaching Dark spells to fourteen year olds in traumatic ways while still totally not being evil. You can click to watch the spiders dance, get tortured and die, which makes Ron scoot back in his chair. Nice touch. No new info though.
On to Hedwig delivering a letter from Dogbreath. Still no new info, not sure why this scene was even there.
On to Beauxbatons arriving in the pointless carriage of prettyness. Egad, actual new content. Beauxbatons is in the Pyrenees, mostly French students but also lots of Spanish, Portuguese, Dutch, Luxembourgians and Belgians. It’s larger than Hogwarts. Nicolas Flamel went there (so it’s confirmed that the film is bollocks, it’s not a girl’s school. Though we knew that anyway, IIRC Parvati gets asked to dance by a boy from Beauxbatons). And we’re told Maxime is “brilliant, elegant and undeniably awe-inspiring” despite her being onscreen for about three scenes and playing no fucking part in the story. If she’s so wonderful, Rowling, maybe you should’ve used her. Nothing else new.
On to Durmstrang’s random pirate ship. More new content.
Durmstrang once had the darkest reputation of all eleven wizarding schools.
Solid numbers at last; there are eleven schools. Though naturally we’re not told what they are, where they are or how big they are. And Rowling’s record with numbers is well established. Previous headmasters include a guy named Harfang Munter… um, Rowling, ‘munter’ is rather unpleasant slang in parts of Britain, you should know not to use it as someone’s name even if they are evil… Anyway. It was founded by a witch. Visitors get mindraped so nobody knows where it is, how lovely. Grindelwald was totally super dangerous you guys isn’t Dumbles amazing for taking him down. That’s it.
On to champion selection. No new info, pretty goblet.
On to Harry meeting the other champions. Krum’s art is… really, really bad, lol. No new info.
On to Draco hexing Hermione. You get to collect a Potter Stinks badge; I shall treasure it. You can also make Hermione’s teeth grow by hovering over them, and make the boils on Goyle’s face burst. Not convinced either were necessary. Still no new info, this was an almost totally pointless update.
On to Skeeter interviewing Snowflake. New content about the Daily Prophet, which actually isn’t new at all and just says what we already know. It’s the only newspaper, it’s biased, the Ministry can influence it. But apparently that’s okay since according to Rowling the wizard community is so small that everyone’s interested in the same kind of stories (no really she actually says that). Oh, and wizards will keep their newspapers even though Muggles use the internet now. That couldn’t possibly be because THEY DON’T HAVE COMPUTERS, could it, Rowling? Also Skeeter’s art makes her look like Dame Edna Everage (famous British drag queen).
Onto Snowflake seeing where the dragons are being kept, we’re skipping a lot. The dragons are ugly, though one of them breathes blue fire, which is interesting. No new info.
Final scene of this update is Snowflake flying around his utterly ineffective dragon. Again, no new info.
Heh, this Pottermore update seems pretty boring and pointless, honestly. I’m not sure if the anti-Slytherin prejudice thing is even surprising any more, except for the casual and gratuitous way they seem to have done it; I don’t even know why, because honestly I think it’d have taken LESS work to just make them all the same! 😛
Oh joy, fake!Moody stuff. Figures they’d make a minigame where you get to join in the abuse of ferret Draco and laugh at his distress; let’s make the protagonist-centred morality more explicit, shall we?
Hmm, new content on the schools, except it doesn’t really tell us much (except more numbers fail, of course! I’ve no idea what to do with the figure of eleven schools). At least she confirmed Beauxbatons isn’t all-girls; I still have no idea why they did that in the film (except possibly extrapolating from Fleur+sister and Maxime because they’re the only people from Beauxbatons IIRC :P). I’ve never heard of munter before, what exactly does it mean?
Yeah, it was noticeably very skimpy on the content this time around. I was expecting more on the Triwizard, maybe some background on Moody. Half the scenes were only included for pretty pictures, and some of them didn’t even have that going for them. The only extra content was three paragraphs on Beauxbatons, Durmstrang and the Daily Prophet, and the latter really wasn’t new. Still, from here onwards there’s the war, so hopefully it’ll be fractionally more interesting.
Eleven schools… Hogwarts, Beauxbatons, Durmstrang. Possibly Salem, I forget if that’s canon or fanon. The unnamed one in Brazil. Presumably at least one in Australia, at least one in Africa, at least one in Asia. Three others. That’s not far off our numbers, except that the numbers in wizarding Britain mean that system doesn’t work and if Britain’s the same average as worldwide there should be a lot more than eleven in the HP world. I think at this point we’re meant to assume that Britain has a much higher proportion of wizards to Muggles for whatever reason, which is why they get one school to themselves when the entirety of mainland Europe has to be divided between only two schools, and the rest of the world is similar to the statistics we worked out. Never mind that there’s no reason why Britain should be special, island population dynamics don’t apply when Apparition is a thing.
As for munter, it doesn’t have a specific meaning per se, it depends on the context; it’s almost always used to refer to a woman and usually means ugly and sometimes slut. Not a nice word, as I said. Tends to mostly be used in the north. It does mean other things in German and French apparently, I just looked it up, but given the UK meaning JK should’ve used a different name 😛 Then again we know from the Cho Chang rant that she didn’t bother researching any names unless they were going to be Symbolic and Meaningful…
[Another short post, it was a short update, as you can tell. This is the last canon-content Pottermore post, we’re still waiting for the next Goblet of Fire update; next week we’ll start some extra content stuff from the past few weeks.]