Let’s discuss a hypothetical scenario. Party A and Party B are college students in a long-term, long-distance relationship (they attend different universities at a significant distance from each other; the distance is sufficient that visiting is inconvenient at best). Let’s also establish that when this relationship began, they knew it would be long-distance for the indeterminate future.
Let’s also establish that both parties are happy at their respective universities and wish to complete their educations where they currently are.
Which is the correct action for party B to take?
1) Accept the situation and learn to deal with being lonely sometimes
2) Accept the situation and leave the relationship
3) Accept the situation and start a conversation about renegotiating exclusivity
4) Constantly pressure party A to transfer universities and sacrifice their education, despite the fact they’ve made perfectly clear they’ve no desire to
Let me suggest that if you choose option 4 in this scenario, you’re a terrible person and shouldn’t have relationships with human beings.
Respect people’s choices, especially those of people you claim to love.
This has been a public service announcement.
In case it was not already blatantly obvious, this post was written in response to some real-life events involving persons known to me. In point of fact I wrote the above more than a week ago and was waiting to post it until I had more information, and the situation has changed since then; they have apparently come to some kind of reconciliation and are back together.
My original intent in writing this was to express support and sympathy for party A while validating her decision. And while I do think my point stands, far be it from me to audit her choices and tell her she made the wrong one now.
So this is what I’ll say: If he’s what you want and he makes you happy, so be it. That does not, however, mean I must refrain from calling out his bad behaviour; I mean it when I say this is not OK, and he had better have learnt his lesson from this and treat you better in future. You deserve to be treated with respect; everyone deserves to be treated with respect.
If you ever need somebody to talk to, you can call on me anytime; I’ll always be here.